I am so behind on posts right now and I keep saying that I am going to sit down and post them all, but for now I have to go out of order. I feel like I need to do this one for my unborn child, who needs everyone's prayers.
I went for my 16 week checkup last Monday. They drew some blood from me and I didn't question what it was for. I just assumed it was routine. I got a phone call while at work on Thursday morning from the doctors' office informing me that my blood tested positive for the baby having Down Syndrome. I really didn't hear much of what the lady was saying after she told me that. She did tell me that I would have to go see a specialist and the soonest they could get me in was this coming Tuesday at 1:30 and they would determine whether the baby has DS or not. I remember her asking me if I was ok towards the end of the phone call and I remember thinking..is anyone that you give this news to ok?. Seriously, I was a basket case.
I have so many emotions and fears running through me that I don't even know how I'm functioning right now. I do have hope and faith that it was a false positive and that everything will be ok, but I can't help but think "what if". Everyone keeps saying "it's going to be ok" or "everything will be fine" and "try not to worry", but I am really freaking out. I am not strong enough for something like this. I am trying so hard to be positive, but I keep finding myself crying over and over again. This is going to be a very long weekend. I am sure I will have many more breakdowns between now and Tuesday, but for every breakdown, I will say a prayer that my sweet little boy will be healthy. I have done a lot of praying in the last couple of days and I am asking for everyone else to please stop and pray for my baby boy.
When I got that phone call yesterday, I felt like someone had a hold of my heart and was twisting and turning it. I now realize that as strong as my family and friends seem to me right now, their hearts are being torn too. Please pray for all of us!!!
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2 comments:
Awww.... Rachel, I am so sorry to hear about this news that was given to you. I am very sad for you and Chris because I know that no one can fully understand what you are both feeling right now, but please remember that we are here for you and if you ever need to talk, or just need anything - we would be glad to help you out in whatever way possible! We will be keeping you in our thoughts and hoping for a turn-around. We love you! Jennifer and Major
Rach, you know you are my sister not by birth but i have always called you that...you know i love you, chris, colin, and ill love the new boy just the same...you guys are my family...you know if you need ANYTHING just call me...even if i need to watch my God son so you can do whatever...i love you guys
Dave
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