Swimming with Nana and Papa 5/30/09

Playing in the Sprinkler! 5/29/09

Lake 5/24/09

We went to the lake last Sunday, but it rained pretty much the whole time we were there. We did get a few good pics of Papa Jaime showing Colin the ducks!!

Kid Fest 4/19/09

Chris and I took Colin to Kid Fest and the only thing that seemed to interest a 19 month old was feeding the animals, so that's what we did!!

Easter 2009

Just a few pics of Colin digging into his Easter basket!!


Once again, Colin hates the feeling of the Easter grass!!

Circus at Furman 4/4/09

Chris, my mom, and I took Colin to the Shrine Circus at Furman University in April. We only stayed through the first half because Colin got really restless and we knew he wouldn't make it through the second half. We bought him one of the toys that lights up and he seemed to be fascinated by it. We were lucky enough that my dad was working that day and we took Colin to see all the animals back behind the building before the show. Colin also go to sit in a firetruck. He looked so small in that big ol truck!

Relief

I had taken the whole day off work today in order to prepare myself for the doctor's appt. I went and had my hair cut and highlighted beforehand and it was very relaxing. As I was driving to meet Chris at the Doctor's office, I felt at peace with going. Chris and I first had the complete, in detail ultrasound done by the ultrasound tech. She had told us before starting that she wouldn't be able to give us any information whether good or bad, that the Doctor would see us after the ultrasound and explain everything to us. Keeping that in mind, I wanted to enjoy getting a glimpse at my precious boy without stressing over every detail. For the most part I wasn't stressing too much. I even laughed when we saw that he had his feet crossed at the ankles and his arms above his head just like Colin did in his Ultrasound pictures. Once the ultrasound was done, she took us into another room to wait on the doctor. That's when I started to worry again. It literally felt like we waited on him for an hour, but when I asked Chris if he thought they had forgotten about us, he informed me that we had only been waiting for 10 minutes. The doctor finally came in and sat down. He looked straight at me and told me that "he looks fine" and told me to take a deep breath. He couldn't have said it better. I had literally felt like I had been holding my breath since last Thursday and now I could actually breathe. He went on to explain to us that the blood test is a screening test and it takes several factors of my blood and the combination determines the "risk" I have of my child having Down Syndrome. Apparently, according to my test results I had a 1 in 80 chance, which is pretty significant considering an average woman has a 1 in 1000 chance. He went on to say that he can not tell us that the baby does not have DS but that my chances went down to 1 in 200 after the ultrasound. The ultrasound is only 60% accurate, so there is a chance that the baby could still have it and the ultrasound not pick it up. He reassured us that from what he saw there are no signs of Down Syndrome and we are likely to have a healthy baby. He gave us an example of a person who's cholesterol was a little high during a screening...the doctor can not tell that person that they will NOT have a heart attach but they can run more tests to see if their chances of it are higher or lower. He wants to see me back about every 4 weeks for now to do more ultrasounds and check for any signs, but for now the baby appears to be healthy. I feel really good about this, although I don't think I will fully be at ease until he is in my arms in 5 more months!!!

I want to thank everyone of our family and friends. I know that there were people praying for us miles away who had never even met us and we are so grateful for that. I have had so much support, encouragement, love and prayers from so many people and I can't thank you all enough!!!!

Pics to come!!

Too Many Emotions

18 more hours of the unknown! This has truly been the longest weekend ever. Most people want holiday weekends to go on forever...not me...not this time. I'm ready for Tuesday to get here and be over. I'm ready to know what is in store for the rest of our lives. I've done a lot of soul searching these past few days and I keep asking myself what kind of mother I would be to a special needs child, could I actually handle it, would I be strong enough, how would other people react to him, ect. I've come to the conclusion that I don't have an answer to any of my questions. As much as I wish I did, I don't. I do know that no matter what the news is tomorrow, I will love this baby the same either way. I will give him all I have to give either way.

I am trying so hard to stay strong and hope for the best...but I am scared to death. People ask expecting moms "what do you want to have, a boy or a girl?" and most people say "it doesn't matter as long as they are healthy". This has brought on a whole new meaning to me. Most people dont realize how lucky they are to have healthy babies. Not only has being a nurse in the hospital seeing sick babies and the complications that can occur opened my eyes, but I read several peoples blogs who have lost children or had sick, SICK babies. It is a true MIRACLE to have a healthy baby and I hope that every one of us who have had healthy babies sit down and thank GOD for it. They are our own miracles!!!

I'm praying hard tonight that God will once again give me a healthy baby! If that isn't in his plan for us, then I pray he gives us the strength to get through it. My heart is hurting already. It's hard to breathe sometimes when I think about what could happen, but I'm trying to stay positive and hope for a false-positive. Chris has been so positive through all of this so far. He feels strongly that everything is ok with our little boy...I hope he's right! I wish I was a strong as him when it comes to things like this. He has truly been my rock through this so far. I know that I can get through anything with him beside me.

We need your prayers!!!

I am so behind on posts right now and I keep saying that I am going to sit down and post them all, but for now I have to go out of order. I feel like I need to do this one for my unborn child, who needs everyone's prayers.

I went for my 16 week checkup last Monday. They drew some blood from me and I didn't question what it was for. I just assumed it was routine. I got a phone call while at work on Thursday morning from the doctors' office informing me that my blood tested positive for the baby having Down Syndrome. I really didn't hear much of what the lady was saying after she told me that. She did tell me that I would have to go see a specialist and the soonest they could get me in was this coming Tuesday at 1:30 and they would determine whether the baby has DS or not. I remember her asking me if I was ok towards the end of the phone call and I remember thinking..is anyone that you give this news to ok?. Seriously, I was a basket case.

I have so many emotions and fears running through me that I don't even know how I'm functioning right now. I do have hope and faith that it was a false positive and that everything will be ok, but I can't help but think "what if". Everyone keeps saying "it's going to be ok" or "everything will be fine" and "try not to worry", but I am really freaking out. I am not strong enough for something like this. I am trying so hard to be positive, but I keep finding myself crying over and over again. This is going to be a very long weekend. I am sure I will have many more breakdowns between now and Tuesday, but for every breakdown, I will say a prayer that my sweet little boy will be healthy. I have done a lot of praying in the last couple of days and I am asking for everyone else to please stop and pray for my baby boy.

When I got that phone call yesterday, I felt like someone had a hold of my heart and was twisting and turning it. I now realize that as strong as my family and friends seem to me right now, their hearts are being torn too. Please pray for all of us!!!